By Sanford Perez
I get it.
I would like to begin this article by stating that I understand that there will be some people who may read this that may not have been able to have a son. My hope is to encourage you by saying that if you only have daughters (I have 2), that those princesses are a gift from the Lord. No matter what prayer you would have done pleading for a son, God had already decided since before time to gift you with those precious girls for you to shepherd and love and train up to be God-fearing women for His glory. My hope is that you would not be angry or bitter because you did not get what you wanted but what He had already decided to gift with. So love those girls well and go after their hearts hard for the glory of God.
Although this can go bad for both boys and girls, and it does, I will be focusing on a boy, my son, since that’s what this article is about. The joy of having and training a son. I would like to share with you at least 2 statistics of the result of boys without a father.
According to ROBHoskins.com Children who grow up fatherless are 5x more likely to live in poverty + commit crime, 9x more likely to drop out of school, and 20x more likely to end up in prison.
LinkedIn.com writes, more likely to have behavioral problems, more likely to go to prison and more likely to abuse drugs and alcohol.
Our second child, our son.
At this very point in life we have a second son on the way due December 2018, but I will put more of a focus on our only son at the moment, the FAMOUS JJ. Jadiel Sanford Perez was born October 20, 2010. At 7.14 lbs and 20 inches long this boy was anxious to come into this world. My wife Glenda almost had him in our then 2br apartment and almost in the car on the way to the hospital with my mother driving her there. They make it to the hospital and by the time they take her to a room, this kids head was practically coming out. Another 2 minutes and I would’ve missed all the action trying to rush and make it there coming from work. I know…crazy! I honestly don’t know or remember why we call him JJ, we just do. It was most likely Keyla that gave him that nickname. LOL!
The crazy years.
Everyone was fooled by the cuteness of this little boy, with his fresh stylish clothes to the fresh cut. Oh but his depravity was rampant. I’m not lying ya’ll. I didn’t want anymore kids after him. I’m serious! He drove us nuts. From crazy hyperness to horrible tantrums to just not wanting to listen. It was crazy but much of that has changed. We still loved him no matter what. He is our son. He is my son.
Through the years and where we are now.
Now at 7 years old with a growth spurt, JJ is one of the sweetest boys I know, and I’m not saying that because he is my son. Ask most people we know and they’ll tell you. It took just time itself, discipline, correction and training up. It definitely isn’t an easy task but it must be done. For His good, the good of others and the glory of God.
Here are some very good scriptures on discipline…
“Whoever spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him.”
“The rod and reproof give wisdom, but a child left to himself brings shame to his mother.”
“For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.”
It is an honor and a privilege to train up a young boy to be a better man than you are and much of that is by giving him Jesus Christ. We get to be called sons of God because of Jesus and He instructs us by His Holy Spirit. I find myself having to repent much to him and before him for not only my own hearts sake but also to help him see that I’m a broken man in need of the grace of a loving Father who is God. Also to demonstrate humility and for when we fail, God’s word calls us to expose that and turn from it.
Check out these verses…
“Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. 21 Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged.”
Although his role is to obey his mother and I, I in return am to not provoke him to anger, but to love him well through encouragement as part of his growth in maturity. I’m supposed to train him not from boy to adolescent but from boy to man. To train him in the realities of life so that he can be as prepared as he can be.
“And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. 7 You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.”
I truly love these set of verses because of its explicitness on discipling your children and I will use it to here in specifically disciple my son in how to be a godly man, how to work hard, how to serve others and how to respect women. And if he is to marry one day that he would be as ready as he can be to be a godly husband and love his wife as Christ loves the church (Ephesians 6) and that if they are to have children one day he would instruct them as I instructed him, in the ways of the Lord, for his good and the glory of God.
The hope is that the Perez men would be remembered as men, who loved Jesus above all, loved their families greatly, loved their local church deeply and loved their neighbors genuinely. There is a lot of work ahead of us for this young boy and the one to come, if the Lord wills it. My hope is that I can remain faithful to God’s word in training them up in God’s word so that they may be faithful to it as well.
Pray for your sons. Don’t give up on them. Trust the God of the process. He is sovereign.
He Bears Your Name